The cross describes an inner conflict projected onto someone else, and the response.
Were you ever asked a question, then drawn into an argument you didn't really want to have, but the other person needed an argument? Then you're lucky to have got sucked into Taurus' battle.
The battle between swords (cutting to truth, clarity and reality) and torches (fire: ideas, passions, inspiration) isn't necessarily a battle of opposites. However, if someone doesn't know how to resolve all their inner conflicts, they will project one of these ‘sides’ (torch or sword) onto you and have the conflict with you as a way of trying to resolve the conflict within. An example of this is when two people in a relationship polarise roles—one may be more cautious, and one may want to be spontaneous. Each person in the relationship is carrying the other person's repressed role—the spontaneous person is not owning their caution, so their partner carries it for them, enduring accusations of being a killjoy. The cautious one will accuse the other of thoughtlessness when deep down their own spontaneity is crying to be expressed. As each person habitually represses their caution or spontaneity, they fight that side of themselves in their partner thinking that if they ‘win’, then that threatening aspect stays safely repressed (not that they are conscious of this). This type of dynamic is a trap that keeps people from relating to themselves and therefore respecting and learning from the other person how to use that aspect of themselves. It is no surprise that later in the cross comes Scorpio’s woman/father, implying a single parent!
I’ll give you a secret of the universe: nobody
wins in relationships!
Because the word ‘win’ is not appropriate. Those, who want to ‘win’, seek to dominate therefore do not own any repressed self and do not grow. They look to make their partner a ‘loser’ and so the relationship is not fulfilling for either person as there is no growth. Trying to ‘win’ makes the relationship lose-lose. In a fulfilling relationship, people see in the other person aspects of themselves that they could learn more about, so there is continuous growth, rather than ‘winning’. What you can hope for is to have a partner that does not project their baggage onto you, for we all have baggage, and that they respect your efforts to work on your baggage without projecting.
In my experience, the only way to deal with other people's projections (and also your own) is isolation—separate until you realise what is projected then own your projections. The challenge is self-honesty and effective communication with your partner—and if you feel that makes you a ‘loser’, you have a difficult mindset for a growth relationship.
To reduce Taurus' conflict, you may try to speak your truth while remaining neutral—Leo's nonvested choir who are not ‘badged’ (neither sword nor torch) and dressed humbly while singing. This symbol is spiritual, indicating Taurus’ conflict is part of the soul's growth, as seeing our projections shows us what we need to work on (Aquarius' watchdog). We also need to be mindful that under our projections, our partner is actually a neutral player in your story. For example, our spontaneous partner triggers us because we had a bipolar parent, but our partner is not bipolar and not our parent. And they do not deserve all our history and angst heaped upon them without an effort to neutralise those feelings.
Scorpio’s woman embraces her masculine side—she is both mother and father and so has integrated opposing aspects into herself. The child represents a new beginning—so no more pointless judgement towards her partner; she is responsible for understanding and nurturing all the aspects of herself rather than keeping them repressed. This symbol indicates an emotional independence that is self-supporting.
Aquarius’ watchdog is on guard for further conflicts (being baited by others or internal) because of the damage these can cause. An extreme form of this is the subconscious high-alert of PTSD/trauma/abuse survivors—always on and watching, watching, watching the environment, never relaxing because standing guard creates a tense relationship with the environment. The high-alert person does not feel safe and tension builds faster when the present brings little red flags of the past. This tension is looking for a release—enter Taurus’ battle.
As a personal example, my partner (who has his Sun on Scorpio 16-17 and Earth on Taurus 16-17) likes to argue with me, especially after a few drinks. He has often described himself as someone who sits on the fence, unable to make a decision. In our relationship, he argues with me because I am someone with strong opinions, so a worthy person for him to argue with. As I have continued my personal development, I am no longer interested in arguments or even expressing my opinions or even having opinions sometimes. I have found arguments with him to be tedious and circular. They begin with him asking me a question, I answer, but he doesn't like the answer and will go on at length about how I am wrong. He will even argue with me when I agree with him. I find these conflicts incredibly frustrating but also a mirror—to work on aspects of my own communication (Leo, Scorpio).
I have, in deep irritation, vowed that next time he wants to ask me something, I will just act like a lump of wood and say I don't know or be very neutral (Leo) without any You-language triggers, because I don't trust that we won't argue (Aquarius). He will just have to work out his fence-sitting on his own, while I work on letting go of my irritation with him (Scorpio).
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