Virgo 5-6 A Merry Go Round
Claudia Meyer @ freeimages.com
I clicked on an oracle asking who would be my next "teacher" and I got this answer. That is, I would have a range of "teachers" (in fact, everyone is your teacher if you think about it) and I hope it meant that learning would be fun!
My friend Alice has her Part of Fortune on this degree, and her experience is below:
The part of fortune - the seed of life, of course starts with your earliest upbringing and the roots which are planted and watered throughout life.
I often have felt a real lack of personal achievement in my life. Not in the sense of worthlessness or lack of motivation or spark, but a sense of loss of individual freedom.
My upbringing was what appeared to be the normal, loving household of the 70’s…My mother at home and my father working long hours to provide the necessary money to keep us all in the life we were accustomed to(which as a child I enjoyed).
As the path of fortune often deals with the unconscious, I have been until very recently unaware of the impact on my soul this upbringing had. We went on overseas holidays, wore nice clothes, ate good food, our family home was modern and very well kept. Under the covers of this idyllic Merry Go Round life however were parents with unexpressed creativity.
My mother had undiagnosed OCD (which I imagine had come from her childhood of material poverty) her family had to leave their close knit structure to build a new world where there were more financial opportunities. They overnight changed from generational coal miners to business owners of a local corner shop, supplying everything from lollies to fruit and vegetables. This change was preceded by my mothers 20 year old brother dying from a fall on a bridge that year. I imagine this was the catalyst which sparked the relocation.
The shop required long hours and much work which my mother and father helped in. Mum expressed her dislike of this work but at the time this was her destiny. Creativity was a luxury in my mothers family not viewed as a source of income.
As things improved financially for them over time, my parents finally left home (my mum was 33 years old!). They won the lottery and built a big new modern house, and life for me and them commenced solo from my grandparents (whom by the way I adored, living at their house was not a chore) lots of laughter and lots of hands to help with housework. Which is really were my unconscious story begins.. As the path of fortune quincunxes my earth and saturn it has taken nearly 50 years to dig out the gold (fortune).
As they say turning "lead (coal) into gold".
Early life was good but very very structured, my mother ran a tight a ship. The days were all the same (The Merry Go Round) get up clean the bath, 2 toilets(everyday) wash clothes, vacuum, cook etc etc… and remembering she had OCD coupled with anxiety. When she turned 66, the same age that her mother died, she became unwell with an undiagnosable illness (chronic fatigue), which at 80 years she is still at times suffering from. The Merry Go Round stopped.
This unconsciously set up a dynamic within myself of thinking normal was a super clean house and a hot tea every night. When I first got married I used to hand scrub my ex - husbands socks until my fingers bled (it sounds like a horror movie) and all this in the feminine new age. I worked full time as a nurse which I hated… as I am a leo in the 5th house, this job was not really filling up that energy.
As the seeds planted early in life were about working hard and poverty, this to me was normal and what I attracted into my life. As creativity was not an income source in my generational tree.
Also coupled with my maternal side was my paternal side, which were coal miners and lived hard lives as well.
My grandfather was a coal miner and spent most of his life underground digging along the coal seam, which, as he was small, he was on his back in very tight claustrophobic places. Above ground he was very creative… building his own home eventually on the waters edge at Wangi Wangi (a long way from Bellbird pit). Also he was a boat builder and loved beautiful timbers. (He was also a Leo). All their houses were spotless which I imagine comes from the want of leaving the black dust behind them.
So my life travelled along this childhood merry go round, of working, having children, renovating house after house and of course beating myself up because these spaces were never quite as shiny as the Merry Go Round I had come from.
Finally I decided to jump off the Round… I opened a shop which I loved but of course it made no money, it was built around an idea of a shop I had entered into years before. This eventually closed and cost me a much of my hard earned savings, also with the close of this came the end of me 20 year marriage… but it did get me off the Merry Go Round. One of the main reasons my business failed was that idea did not come from my heart, but someone else's much like my life had come from my mother's Merry Go Round.
Over the next 10 years as everything around me was dissolving, I started to touch who I am as an individual. It has been a very long and arduous "Ride" and not always "Merry". I am still working as a nurse, but now am working on my creativity as a larger part of my life… I leave the house today with an unmade bed so I think I am making progress.
Does any part of the symbol resonate with you?
Share your experiences of this Virgo karma!
Do any of the astrological bodies (Venus, Jupiter, Chiron etc) fall on this symbol for you? What has it meant in your life?
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