Aquarius 2-3 A Deserter From The Navy


I've decided to add a little note to this degree. I asked the Rhetoracle why I seemed to have no effect on two particular women - my mother and my mother-in-law.
When I was growing up and was an angry teenager, I would constantly yell at my mum every time she visited the past and all the abuse she went through. Now I see that at the time she was replaying the past like a film in front of her eyes and her emotional reactions that came from it were just an unhelpful loop that she was generating inside her mind's eye.
Since I moved away, had children and did 6 years of personal development, I was able to be present and listen to my mother-in-law as she unburdened her complaints and negativity to me. My moon is on Capricorn 9-10 An Albatross Feeding From The Hand. Since I've learned about boundaries and learned to enforce them, basically pushing my mother and mother-in-law away successively, I've wondered why years of different approaches with these women haven't worked. I was not able to help either of them with their issues, and wondered what I learned from this experience. This degree was the answer, and for me it is about moving on from a particular energy or emotion. Both women have/had a victim-mentality, focussed on where they are powerless. Even though I had changed in my approach and as a person, my effect on other people with these issues did not change. Damned if you do, damned if you don't! We truly are here for a solitary experience! By moving away from this energy by setting boundaries with these women, I was clearly the Deserter from the Navy (water, emotions).

Something I am mindful of is the pull back towards the "Navy" or a familiar dynamic that does me no favours. Dr Mona Lisa from Hay House Radio has said that when we let something go e.g. a death in the family, the universe will try to fill the void because it abhors a void. I personally see this as very wise. When we run away from something or let something go, we can be lost. When we run to something we are not lost. So if I let go of one relationship e.g. the mother-in-law, I can focus on my children, or join the Spanish Club etc to make a new connection. In this case I was moving away from a dynamic, so I need to visualise the kind of dynamic I want in future, and not feed an old one. So that means I have to watch myself that I am not subconsciously looking for people who believe they are victims, and actually look for the fun in life instead, looking for it in others and myself.

Interestingly, once I had long ago moved away and changed myself, my mother changed all by herself too (as I was no longer part of the old victim dynamic she was in). It is early days for my mother-in-law, but I consider her transformation as none of my business. Good luck to everyone!

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