Taurus 15-16 An Old Man Attempting Vainly To Reveal The Mysteries
School-teacher by Lubieniecki via Wikimedia Commons
I recently had an experience that I asked the Rhetoracle to define, and I got this symbol.
So the experience was this:
I wrote a short real-life piece for an online station, literally guided spiritually to write it (lots of signs from the universe, wrote it really quickly like it was downloaded etc) and when I saw it published I was actually horrified and regretted writing it. I pulled some oracle cards that told me to walk away, and that someone out there would benefit from it. Now, I was really horrified by what I'd written. I'd realised this was some stunted mangy animal (true, all things find love, but anyway) I'd let out. Even though during writing it, I was having intense emotional purges, clearly I felt that this particular expression did not belong in the light of day!
I was considering calling the publisher to delete the piece, basically interfering, but I realised I needed to learn to let go. Same with the journeys my kids, partner, friends and family are on. Let go of their lessons, their suffering, their choices. It's hard to do, but it's part of learning patience.
I was lucky to receive an email from Past Forward (healpastlives.com) about Claircognizance - which is the knowing without knowing how you know it. Basically in previous lives (or in the one extremely colourful life!) one has already done the steps between A and Z so one's current life is often a series of fast-tracked lessons. Meanwhile we watch other people do their lessons from A to B to C etc and this can be very frustrating for those of us who have picked up our lessons quickly and gone from A straight to Z. The reason those of us with Claircognizance exist is to nurture and support those that do have to learn each step, we are like the main root of a tree, and we provide a platform for others.
In my experience I know that I have helped younger people learn their trade faster, or I have guided a friend to start her own business with my encouragement, so I know this to be true about Claircognizance. And I do know that I am impatient, and clearly patience is what I need to learn!
I tried really hard not to think about my craptastic piece of writing I submitted. My mantra was "someone will benefit, and hopefully everyone else won't realise it's there"! I changed my thoughts when my insecurities flared up ("what will people think?!" - which was also another lesson: how can I be creative if I am scared of what people think of what I create? How can what I write resonate with others if it is not authentic to me? So I realised I had a lot of anxiety that blocks my writing) to just thinking about the groceries or the laundry etc. After day three, someone commented on my piece, saying it was powerful. I was so happy to be validated! But I realised that external validation is a nice-to-have, and I needed to learn internal validation. Or that "it is what it is", or that "I am enough" - that is, to simply create, and then let go. Who knows what others will understand from my writing? Who knows what I will see in it ten years from now? Maybe I don't even "get it" now. I was trying in vain to even explain to myself what was going on with this piece existing, when I should just embrace its existence.
Now I finally understand those stories I hear of the sages that don't answer the seeker's question. The sage is like a statue that stares back at the seeker, and the seeker leaves in frustration. Honestly, there's no point saying anything because the seeker knows the answer deep in their heart, but they have to learn the lessons in the right order; to finally arrive at their own answer. And how to explain something that the seeker would not understand just yet? It is like countless parents that look at a youngster who refuses to have kids, or a youngster that asks what it's like to have kids, and truly, there is no answer that would adequately describe the experience. And parenthood is quite a common, mundane experience, but also amazing, wonderful, challenging etc. Yet often parental people just say nothing to those who ask, as they know the youngster is not going to take away from the conversation what the parent wants to convey. When you reach the point of not bothering to explain, probably to avoid frustration, then you are probably closer to the opposite of the Taurean symbol, Scorpio 15-16 A Girl's Face Breaking Into A Smile. When I compare these two symbols as part of their cross I see that the Taurus Old Man Attempting Vainly To Reveal The Mysteries tries to share what was learned/mastered, however not everyone can see or value the jewel brought back from self-exploration or experience. I credit Joseph Campbell with his idea that the hard part of exploration is trying to find a place or people with whom you can share even a small part of what you have gained, as others may not even understand the value of what you found.
Patience, patience, patience!
Does any part of the symbol resonate with you?
Share your experiences of this Taurus karma!
Do any of the astrological bodies (Venus, Jupiter, Chiron etc) fall on this symbol for you? What has it meant in your life?
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