Cancer 4-5 An Automobile Wrecked By A Train
Metro North accident at Valhalla NY by National Transportation Safety Board via Commons
I have a friend with Ceres in this degree. For her, where she has received nurturing in the past, and now is the pattern with which she gives nurturing, is in suffering. Her mother used to say "You kids are killing me!" and there was a lot of sacrifice and struggle for her mother to raise them.
Now, my friend doesn't do the same thing as her mother by making her children feel guilty, but she did learn the self-sacrifice and suffering part. To put her much-loved children through an expensive school that meets their needs, she must stay at a job where she is belittled and humiliated by her boss. To change this pattern she must unblock this learned subconscious belief that suffering=nurturing, because even when she applies for jobs, she doesn't get them (and interviewers tell her that her resume and cover letters are the best they've seen), as the universe is giving her what she was programmed by her family: suffering for love.
If you ascribe to Signs of the Universe or Dream Meanings (and life is but a dream right?) this symbol represents our direction in life (car) is crushed, stopped, scuppered, by the train (which can mean training and education, or the idea of train tracks that go only in a set direction). For my friend, putting her child in an expensive school (training) has crushed her chance to leave a horrible workplace because she needs the money and nobody is offering a new job. Of course, my friend still has the choice to leave her job, but clearly her "family programming" has kept her on the her "trained" tracks of suffering.
There is good news though: I had found out about the Gatekeeper during a soul course and got rid of my friend's Gatekeeper. She got a call the next day for a new job, starting the next week. Hooray!! Coincidence?
I also have a personal experience of this degree, that the Rhetoracle confirmed. I recently had an intense energy experience which I realised was meant to shift myself and people around into a new gear, however I still had to deal with the aftermath of some negative emotion - namely how hurt my mother-in-law was when I told her she was negative and to not drop by at her worst in the morning.
What I did learn from this was that if I had to choose anger or guilt, I would rather get the anger out and then deal with the guilt, rather than keep my anger festering to myself! Thanks spirits/ancestors, for helping me know myself!
What was interesting was that two weeks after not seeing the mother-in-law at all, I read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, which explained a lot of things regarding the apparent stagnantly-negative dynamic of my in-laws. I read it the day before the in-laws came over to a peace-offering dinner, and during the dinner I offered the book to my MIL with the strong suggestion she read it as it helped me understand "us" a lot. I said I was sorry, that I did think about her a lot and how hurt she would have been. She said thank you, took the book home and as far as I'm aware she is reading it.
Never would she have read the book, or listened to my suggestions, before - when she was in her bad habit of continuing an unfulfilling life (then dumping) because her routine was hard to break.
How I came by the book was this: I was still digesting messages from my psychic massage and I woke up in the middle of the night fearing the worst about one of the messages. Let me tell you, when you are in this emotional state, you need nerves of steel to go to your oracle cards and dare the universe to tell you the truth! I was fearing for a loved one being taken from me (the message from an ancestor was "get your belly laughs in now while you can..." which was cryptic enough to dismiss at the time of getting it, but over the next few weeks was starting to haunt me), and when I got the cards out, I chose the Energy ones which tell you the bald-faced truth, there's no sugar-coating on these babies. So I girded my loins and chose a card.
There is nothing like pulling a Broken Heart card in the middle of the night when you are being haunted by fears, NOTHING. So my guts and heart just dropped, a really intense physical feeling, followed by a snivelling, extremely humble prayer over and over asking what can I do to prevent this!
Come on, Ancestors, I got the warning, now what!?!
I had images in front of my eyes of a miserable lonely life, and I realised I wasn't grateful enough for my family, and that when I whinge about the mess in the house I should be looking at playing with my kids and spending quality time with my husband etc etc. I had a REALLY good look at myself and where I needed to improve. I needed to show more love to my family, now that I had cleared some space and time of negativity (MIL, some "albatross" friends).
I called a friend for confirmation and she told me that I had just received a wake-up call from the universe and it was time for my change towards more love, which absolutely resonated with me - I have a lot of heart chakra stuff to do in this life.
She recommended The Five Love Languages which I immediately bought, which now the MIL is reading.
I had a heart to heart with my partner about our direction in life and he suggested I become a teacher so he can have a semi-retirement and hang out with the kids more, and I have immediately enrolled to become one (which the universe has given me more serendipitous coincidences about) so I know I am on the right track.
This symbol really viscerally demonstrated to me how the appearance of disaster makes us change into the directions we are supposed to go in. I had been so attached to making a website and writing that was very ego-focussed compared to giving to my family (my specific life purpose is learning to love my family more) that I needed a shake up to change direction and become a qualified schoolteacher, for my family (because I wasn't that motivated to do it for myself, even though I know it would be fun).
The negative emotions I and my MIL experienced separately broke us out of a previous habit-state to put us into a new frame of mind to be open to learning something new. While I don't expect my MIL to thank me, I can understand what she is going through and that she is willing to learn for family too.
What was interesting was that The Five Love Languages was not on my or her life curriculum until AFTER I had confronted my MIL and had my own private shake-up too. It's as if we would not have been interested in that book without having the previous horrible emotional experience. So there are truly many ways and means on the path to learning love, and I absolutely appreciate the gamut of emotions we experience as humans to get there.
Mother's day is coming up - a perfect opportunity for offering another olive-branch!
Does any part of the symbol resonate with you?
Share your experiences of this Cancer energy!
Do any of the astrological bodies (Venus, Jupiter, Chiron etc) fall on this symbol for you? What has it meant in your life?
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